Donna Turns Right and John Goes to a Wedding
by lizabay
Summary: After Donna Noble turns right and meets somebody desperate to sell a flat, John finds himself abducted on the way to his sister's wedding.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:  
"Mum, I'm not going and thats that!" Donna Noble yelled while waiting at the intersection.  
"Just give it a try honey, this could be the job you're looking for!" her mother replied, equally annoyed.  
Putting on her most stubborn expression, Donna was about to retort back when suddenly, a curious feeling overwelmed her. Suddenly calm, she sighed and said "Fine, I'll give it a try." as she switched her blinkers and turned right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John wasnt surprised. It was only three months after Harrys divorce with Clara, and here she was, head over heels in love with a MAN.

Or at she claimed to be.

Something was defenatally odd here. Normally, most guys gave up on Harry the moment she told them she was gay. But not Lance. Lance pestered his sister everyday and wouldnt stop making her terrible coffee until she finally agree to date him.  
"The weddings in June!" She continued gushing in a most un Harry style.  
"Knowing her, somethings bound to go wrong..." John thought grimly before giving his sister a smile, and quickly limping out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Donna? Is that you?!" Irritatted enough as it was, Donna scowled and turned to face the squat little man.  
"What do you want Mike?" she said, even more annoyed. "Because if you still want to force me to buy that HOVEL for a fortune, you can FORGET IT!" With that, she spun on her heels and started heading for the Printshop.  
"No wait! I have a really good deal this time!" Mike shouted, grabbing hold of her arm.  
Glaring down, she hissed "One minute or I lose this job. Impress me."  
Putting on his salesman's smile, Mike quickly laid out the facts. "Its a lovely flat, right in the heart of London." Noticing Donna's doubtful expression, he hurried to continue.  
"Wait, dont give up yet! Its deadcheap, the other renter managed to convince the landlady for an amazing deal."  
"So why did you come to me?" Donna said frowning. "A deal like that would have been taken up in a second."  
"Well..." Mike said, smile faultering.  
"I knew it! Whats wrong with this "conman renter?! Is he 70 and deaf?! A druggie?!"  
"No! Nothing like that!" He quickly retorted. "He's just...interesting."  
"Interesting. I can handle interesting." Donna said, finally calm. "Meet me here in about 12, and we'll meet this "interesting man."  
With a grin, she waved and headed towards her interview.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the day of the wedding, and John was running disastoriously late.  
First it was the suit, which until today was fine. Then, he discovered a tear in the pants, and had to run to a tailor and fix it pronto.  
Then, to add to the insanity, his therapist called and made him listen to a her drone on about "how this was the chance to change his life, and how he shouldnt ruin it" junk.

And now, the creme de la creme, he got stuck in the worst traffic London had seen in years.

Sighing as he nervously glanced down at his watch, John felt his heart drop. There was no way he was going to make it at this rate, it would take another hour at least till he got to the hall.

Harry was going to KILL him.

Knowing that he had no choice, John leaned forwards and tapped the cabbie lightly.  
"Could you please let me off here?" He said trying to not think about the long walk before him.  
Smiling faintly, the cabbie reached back to accept the money before frowning worriedly at John.  
"Are you sure you're going to be ok on that leg of yours kid?"  
"I'll be fine, thanks." He muttered back before grabbing his cane, pulling out of the car and limping away."

Ten minutes later though, he did start to worry.  
Although he was going as fast as he dared, the hall was still nowhere in sight.  
Cursing his damn luck, his damn leg, and his damn sister, John was about to give up when suddenly, after turning yet another corner, he spotted the building down the street.  
Grinning triamphantly, finally allowed himself relax. He was actually going to make it, and on time to boot.

Then it happened.

One moment he was limping down Whitley Road, the next, he was inside a...

...where the hell was he?!

Before he had a chance to grasp the sudden situation, a shout could be heard behind him.

"What? What?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**FIRST OF ALL: THANK YOU SOOO MUCH TO ALL MY READERS! REVIEWERS ARE DOUBLE THANKED! I KNOW I TOOK A WHILE, AND IM SOSOSO SORRY!**

**NEXT, I REALLY NEED A BETA, IF ANYONE CAN SUGGEST ONE OR OFFER I WOULD BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!**

**LAST, DO YOU GUYS LIKE LONGER CHAPTERS AND LONGER UPDATE TIME, OR SHORT CHAPTERS AND SHORT UPDATE TIME? PLEASE TELL ME FOR THE FUTURE!**

Chapter Two:

It took Sherlock exactly one point seven seconds to figure out everything he could possibly could care about the woman standing at the entrance of the lab.

Judging by the style of her clothes, the way she stood, her nails, her purse, and most importantly, her shade of eyeshadow, he could tell that this woman was the last person he would ever want to share a flat with.

Two point one seconds after setting eyes on Donna Noble, Sherlock Holmes opened his mouth to tell Ms. Noble precicely why she should run back to her overbearing mother right now and hope never to cross paths with him again.

But he stopped.

Because just as the woman turned to talk to that horrible broker, something that didnt exist two point two seconds before, suddenly exsisted on the womans back.

Two point nine seconds after meeting, Donna Noble was the most intresting woman Sherlock had met, and he was dead determined to why.

Turning to leave, Sherlock paused in front of Mark and Donna, nodded at both, and curtly said "I'm Sherlock Holmes, you're irritating beyond words, but I suppose you'll have to do. I'll meet you at the flat as soon as I grab my riding crop from the morgue."

With that, he spun on his heels, grabbed his coat and scarf, and exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

As soon Donna stopped seething enough to speak, she whirled on Mark and jabbed a finger the man's chest while yelling:

"You said said he was a bit odd! I thought you meant he stuttered or was OCD or something NORMALLY ODD! NOT A POMPOUS HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE MAN WHO CALLS RANDOM STRANGERS HIGHLY IRRITATING AND RUNS OFF TO A MORGE FOR A WHIP!

Trying not to cry, Mark whimpered "Please Donna, he may be slightly insensitive at times, and has some unusual habits, not to mention a bit of a dra- I mean-" quickly catching the murderous look aimed at him "He is a interesting guy for sure, but when he's working he's happy, and not to mention he's giving you the deal of a lifetime! He rejected everyone else I brought to him..."

Sighing hopelessly, she rolled her eyes and responded "I'll give it a try, but if I don't like it, I'm leaving. You got that?"

Smiling happily in return, Mark started heading out while calling out behind him "Come on, we don't want to keep Sherlock waiting, he has no patience whatsoever."

"This man is sounding better and better by the moment..." Donna muttered walking behind him. "Where is the flat?" She asked curiously.

"221B Baker Street!"

The Doctor has had shocks before in his very long life, but the sight before him was one of the craziest yet.

A 21st century human male wearing a _tuxedo _was staring at the TARDIS doors while staggering slowly backwards in shock.

"Oh wait, that isn't shock, he actually is disabled." He thought guiltily as he started to get over the surprise and noticed the cane by the mans side.

"Where the bloody hell am I?!" The strange limping man shouted turning to face the Doctor .

"Is this some kind of prank?! Because let me tell you, its not going to be funny when my sister murders me for being late to her wedding!"

"Erm, right, well, I'm the Doctor and presently you're in my TARDIS." The Doctor said quickly as the man cautiously limped closer. "Although if you would like to be more exact, technically you're floating in the Minixaer Galaxy, fifth quadrant, around the superno-"

At this point he stopped short, staring shocked at the very real looking gun pointed at his face.

Calming staring as only an experienced solider could, John steadily held the pistol at the Doctor while flatly saying "I have no idea what junk you're spewing now, but I do know that if you planned on a willing hostage, you're not getting one. Let me go now, and I will be kind enough not to shoot you."

Jerking his head at the doors, he continued "Thats the exit right? You go first, and no funny business, got it?"

Breathing slowly out once, the Doctor stared John straight in the eye and said quietly "I really don't like guns. Please put it down, and I promise I'll take you home." When he saw that John wasn't going to listen, he sighed and walked towards the TARDIS doors. Throwing them open, he turned and smiled sadly at the bug eyed army doctor.

"Look outside. You just traveled six million lightyears from earth into my spaceship. You are a very very long way from home."

Finally collapsing from shock, John put his head in his palms and after staring quietly at the ground for a good minute, took a deep breath and looked up at the now grinning Doctor.

"Alright, lets start from the beginning. I'm Captain John Watson, ex army doctor, hailing from London, England planet Earth." he recited calmly.

"A pleasure to meet you Johnny boy!" The Doctor said gleefully while crouching in front of John.

"My name is the Doctor, traveler of the universe, hailing from the lovely TARDIS."

After saying this, he grabbed his sonic and proceeded to scan John slowly from head to toe and back up. Raising his eyebrows, John said doubtfully "Let me get this straight, you're a alien traveling doctor, you're called "The Doctor", and you are scanning me with your alien medical device?"

Laughing as he stood back up, the Doctor jokingly said "I believe that's your job John! No, I'm not actually a doctor, its just a name, and this here is my sonic screwdriver. I just scanned you for any alien technology explaining how you could materialize onto my ship, which, technically, is impossible by the way, but unusually, nothing unusual showed up."

Standing up painfully while waving away the Doctor's offer for help, John got his first good look at the TARDIS. "So could this spaceship of yours possibly take me to 5920 Whitley London, England so I don't miss the wedding?"

"Before we rush off, I just want to make sure. It's human wedding, right? Because if the bride acts strangely, or the groom looks like he has a zipper on his head, you might want to tell me first." The Doctor said worriedly.

Laughing at the image of Lance with a zipper on his head, John shook his head and replied "No, my sister isn't an alien, at least not that I know about, and until I mysteriously appeared here, nothing was odd about my gay sister marrying a man she hardly knows!"

"Suspicious enough for me!" The Doctor said happily. Grinning crazily, the he twirled into his chair and shouted "ALRIGHT JOHNNY BOY! LETS HEAD TO YOUR NON ALIEN GAY SISTER'S WEDDING! ALLONS-Y!

"Hello dearie, are you Sherlock's new flatmate? I'm Mrs. Hudson, the landlady, and Sherlock just went upstairs a moment ago." the kindly looking lady showing her upstairs said. Mark left by the hospital claiming work, and if weren't for the fear of troubling the lady, Donna would have charged up the stairs and start yelling at the tall git right then and there.

Instead she smiled and walked politely behind the landlady as she lead her upstairs.

She would have time to chew him out later.

"Sherlock darling! Your new flatmate is here!" Mrs. Hudson said as she walked into the chaotic horror that might pass as a room.

Looking up from the only clean chair, the great vampire himself glanced up coldly said exasperatedly said "Yes Mrs. Hudson, I heard you both walking up the stairs for the past minute. Secretaries, even new ones, have distinct walking patterns you know."

"How, how could you possibly know that?! Wait, you looked me up?! Because I swear, all those tickets-" Donna stammered as Mrs. Hudson calmly crossed into the kitchen to start tutting at the mess.

"No, you obviously are nearly a big of an imbecile as Anderson if you think I could already look up an interview you only had a little over an hour ago." Sherlock drawled rolling his eyes. "I simply observed, and put it all together."

"Nobody's that smart!" Donna yelled, pissed off ever more than before.

"Really? Its not that hard, I'll explain it so that even your tiny mind might understand." He replied, slightly eager at the chance to show off.

"Your outfit is professional, yet cheap judging by the frays on the edges of your skirt. You obviously then were at an interview for a job, most likely a secretary judging by the fact that your nails have signs of chips due to a recently taken long typing test, but until today you haven't succeeded in acquiring the position yet, so you cant afford anything expensive yet.

Yet your purse is new and not mention not even remotely close to what you would choose out. No, it was a subtle gift from your mother who gave it to you in hopes of encouraging you to take a job offer that she likes, probably from a friend of hers. The fact that you used it shows that you are used to this sorta of treatment, showing that your mother's overbearing nature is already the norm for you.

Also, the way you automatically tensed up when you were about to introduce yourself to me clearly shows that you were made fun of as a child, resulting in your stubborn and defensive nature. Yet you seemed comfortable around Mrs. Hudson, so you weren't just any bullied child, you also were rejected by a boy at one point.

Most critically though, your eyeshadow combination was featured recently in a popular woman's magazine in an article about getting a job in a high end office. But what do you smell like though? Ink! Why would you go to a lowly printshop except to to try out for a job?

So, in conclusion, you of all people would be the last type of person to give in to your mother and switch interviews, yet sometime between leaving your house and your interview you changed your mind and got a job as a secretary in a print shop. So then wh-"

*SLAP!*

Staring at Donna with a semi curious semi annoyed look on his face, Sherlock stopped short and lightly touched his red cheek. Meanwhile Donna trembled, took a deep breath, and screamed.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU STUCK UP %¥$!? GOING AROUND, THINKING THAT ITS FUNNY TO STICK YOUR UGLY NOSE IN OTHERS LIVES,...!

Peeking from the kitchen, Mrs. Hudson smiled as she tidied up the table of old dishes. She had known Sherlock for a good while, and could figure out his expressions decently well now. And the bored amused look he had as he waited for Donna to finish yelling could only mean one thing:

The man was finally in love.

(Meanwhile in Sherlock's head: When will she SHUT UP?! Although I'm being polite so I don't scare her off, I will murder her if she doesn't CLOSE HER DAMN MOUTH!

Poor clueless Mrs. Hudson, I almost feel bad for you... -_-'


	3. Chapter 3

Just want to say, SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! I went through a hard time, and all your reviews really helped

inspire me to keep writing. I have the plot planned out so things should go faster now. LOVE YOU ALL

* * *

Chapter Three

"What were you doing out here anyways?" John asked, trying to make small talk with the alien. He felt bad for threatening him after he invaded _his_ ship, and frankly he wanted to stay in the good books with the only…thing…that could figure out how he got here.

Plus, having a friend with spaceship couldn't hurt.

"Oh well, no big reason at all. I just needed to make a long distance call and needed the extra power." the Doctor answered with a bit too much forced enthusiasm.

"That must have been long." John joked awkwardly, sensing that he hit a sensitive spot. He's seen enough years in the army to know.

"Yeah."

"... So what are your theories on how I got on your ship?" he cautiously added after a few tense moments of quiet.

Lighting up with his face scrunching up in excited confusion, the Doctor replied "Well, I've got "many". Closer to "some" though when you cut out the ones that I don't feel like considering. Actually, "Almost none" when you only look at the ones that make at least 25% sense. Well, I say "almost none", but I really have nothing."

As he finished this mumble jumble nonsense, John heard a sharp whirring and squeaking noise coming from around him. Seconds later, the Doctor grabbed a tan trench-coat from the corner, ran over to the ship's doors, and burst out.

"Wait up; I'm not as young as I used to be!" John shouted after him as he trudged out.

"I'm at least twenty times your age, don't use that excuse on me." the Doctor scolded cheerfully as he waited outside.

"Oh sure, why not! And I'm sure you managed to find a way to stuff a huge ship into a phone box with all that time as a preteen git." John muttered darkly back as he glanced at the TARDIS from the outside.

"I didn't figure it out, a well known Gallifrean solved that years before my time by using particles from microscopic dus- hey where are you going?!" the Doctor cried indignantly mid reciting after realizing that John had already started making his way down the block.

"It's rude to walk off while somebody's talking you know." He remarked after jogging up to his side.

"Wedding. Late. Murderous sister, remember?" John puffed while smiling exasperatedly out of the corner of his mouth. "Not that the history of your spaceship isn't interesting, but maybe another time?"

"No, I get your point Johnny." The Doctor replied with complete seriousness. "'Hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath' is something I have seen on a person basis, and I've faced the devil himself."

Not knowing if he should laugh or actually believe what the alien was saying, John just quickened his pace; and pulling himself as quickly as he could up the stairs, finally reached the rear entrance of the church. Opening the doors as quietly as he could, he and the Doctor silently made their way to the back of the church where they were just in time to see the newly married couple exchange the kiss.

"I missed the wedding." John groaned despairingly.

"Maybe she didn't notice?" The Doctor tried to comfort him.

As soon as he finished saying this though, the newlyweds passed by the back row, where the bride turned to her brother, smiled, and mimed decapitation.

"I'm doomed."

* * *

General Inspector Lestrade had known Sherlock Holmes for a long time. During that long and completely dysfunctional "relationship", (if you could even call it that) Lestrade had seen Sherlock knee-high in sewage, covered in blood and guts, even wearing his precious coat while it was on fire. In all these situations, no matter what, Sherlock was constantly the vision of refinement and poise. Oh sure, he gets angry at their "stupidity" on a nearly daily basis, but always while posed like a perfectly annoying Greek god while doing so.

So when he walked in to Sherlock flat and found the world's only consulting detective angrily throwing random pillows, books, pens, and god knows what else at a particularly upset looking redhead woman while dodging her own supply of flying missiles from behind the couch, he almost passed out from shock.

_'Was that a...'_ he thought in disbelief as Sherlock jumped up, caught the skull in midair, and started bellowing "THIS SKULL IS EXTREMELY FRAGILE AND IS AND IMPORTANT-"

"Who keeps a skull?!" The woman cut off angrily while throwing a particularly large book straight at the detective's head.

And gasped in horror as it hit Lestrade directly in the stomach.

"Sorry about that Inspector, I was about to warn you but..." Sherlock stated non chantingly while smoothing his suit with one hand and flourishing his other at the very flustered woman.

"Sherlock...what the hell..." Lestrade wheezed while collapsing into a chair.

"My new flatmate and I had a bit of a disagreement over my living habits, and what's different about this victim?" He replied calmly while replacing a few books to the shelves.

"What? Ah, of course you figured that out somehow..." Lestrade muttered darkly under his breath "This one left a note, scratched it into the floor with her nail."

"Wait. Hold it. You work for the police?" The flatmate suddenly cut in.

"Yes, I thought that was obvious." Sherlock smirked mockingly.

"So that's why you have those disgusting guts in the sink? And the eyeballs in the fridge? And all that other gore and dead parts?" She choked with disbelief written plainly on her face. "Besides, why would you want to work with such a pompous douchebag Detective er…?"

"Detective Inspector Lestrade." he finished while getting up to shake her hand.

"Donna Noble." she quickly responded while giving his hand a quick shake.

"Pleasure Ms. Noble. And trust me, the only reason we hire Sherlock is because he is the best, and he would just break into crime scenes if we didn't let him in." Lestrade answered with a sigh.

"If you both are done with the pleasantries, I have a case to solve." Sherlock cut in grumpily.

"Fine by me, I'll actually get this place cleaned up to livable standards." Donna quipped back while starting to turn towards the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't, you're coming along with me." Sherlock ordered while grabbing her wrist and dragged her, struggling, towards the door.

"Sherlock! What are you doing, you can't bring her along!" the Detective Inspector demanded while chasing after the pair.

"Trust me Lestrade, I'll explain later!" he shouted back as he forced Donna into a cab and climbed in after her.

"Trust Sherlock Holmes, oh that will be the day." Lestrade muttered while getting into his own police car.

This man will be the death of him.

* * *

Sorry its been pretty drama free, but things will start quickening up soon.


End file.
